What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
