You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Randomize
