Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
