i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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