Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
The Olympian is in my bed
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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