the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
