Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
