she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
