We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
