So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
