Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
i've created a new STD.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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