I'm really into asian looking animals
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
