Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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