You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
