so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
