a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
