I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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