Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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