areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
