The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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