now i know why i became what i already was.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
