I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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