Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
