My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
