i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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