at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
