I'm going to rape someone's good day.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
