I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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