Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Randomize
