its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Everclear isn't food dammit
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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