just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
