Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
