i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
