he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
