I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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