Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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