I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
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