I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Randomize
