I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
