Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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