There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
