I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
