Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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