I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
