if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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