I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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