..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Rumble strips road head = magical
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
