all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
