My boss' voice literally gives me gas
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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