I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
