I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
