I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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