I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Randomize
