I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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